When kids were kids...
The other night I went to an organizational meeting for Caroline's soccer team. I always hate these meetings because the conversation invariably turns to practice days and times... and then the problems start popping up.
"Shannon can't make it Mondays because she has church school and Brownies."
"Madison can't be there on Thursdays because she has softball."
"Taylor will be late on Tuesdays because she's got swim practice until 6:30."
Mostly I just sit there and don't say anything. We don't have a conflict because soccer is what Caroline does. Period. My kids don't have extracurricular activities every night of the week and I don't spend my life shuttling them back and forth from dance, golf, tennis, guitar lessons.
I'm sure there are kids who love being involved in that many activities. But I also know kids who have been forced to take tennis lessons and join the swim team because it will help them be more "well-rounded." Don't we have our whole lives to become well-rounded? Do they have to be saddled with schedules and commitments at nine-years-old? Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids?
When I was my daughter's age, I loved to go fishing with my bamboo fishing pole down at the bay right by my house. Or climb the willow tree across the tracks. Or watch Adam-12 after school. Or skateboard up and down my dead end street. Or ride my bike into the back of parked cars.*
While it's probably open for some debate, I turned out mostly okay. And I have this sneaking suspicion that even though my kids would rather play computer, hang out with friends or go to the skatepark... they'll probably turn out mostly okay, too.
* a story for another time
"Shannon can't make it Mondays because she has church school and Brownies."
"Madison can't be there on Thursdays because she has softball."
"Taylor will be late on Tuesdays because she's got swim practice until 6:30."
Mostly I just sit there and don't say anything. We don't have a conflict because soccer is what Caroline does. Period. My kids don't have extracurricular activities every night of the week and I don't spend my life shuttling them back and forth from dance, golf, tennis, guitar lessons.
I'm sure there are kids who love being involved in that many activities. But I also know kids who have been forced to take tennis lessons and join the swim team because it will help them be more "well-rounded." Don't we have our whole lives to become well-rounded? Do they have to be saddled with schedules and commitments at nine-years-old? Whatever happened to just letting kids be kids?
When I was my daughter's age, I loved to go fishing with my bamboo fishing pole down at the bay right by my house. Or climb the willow tree across the tracks. Or watch Adam-12 after school. Or skateboard up and down my dead end street. Or ride my bike into the back of parked cars.*
While it's probably open for some debate, I turned out mostly okay. And I have this sneaking suspicion that even though my kids would rather play computer, hang out with friends or go to the skatepark... they'll probably turn out mostly okay, too.
* a story for another time
12 Comments:
Money has always been the deciding factor in how many activities we sign the kids up for. Blessedly, we're so poor that we've only done one sport for the past two seasons (baseball for my 9 oldest son, who is 9). This season both of my boys are playing soccer. And I realized last week that this will, in fact, make me a Soccer Mom.
Did I mention my oldest son is 9? I should really preview my posts before I hit publish.
I didn't get to do ANYTHING after school b/c both my parents worked, and neither spoke very good english nor were they interested in american-style parenting. Instead I hung out with my friends in the neighborhood riding bikes, climbing the huge rock hill, riding my skateboard and playing manhunt. I think i turned out ok. although I am a total lush. but that's not a bad thing right?
Megin... I REFUSE to be a soccer mom. Even when my kids play soccer.
Citygurl... I'm a lush, too, but just imagine the therapy bills those kids have. The ones who are carted around to all those lessons and practices against their will.
Overparenting sux. It's almost like parents these days are their kids' "handlers." How 'bout letting the kids screw up their lives on their own? I mean, don't these soccer moms have their own lives to live? Oh. Wait. There it is. They don't. Sad.
I'm glad you're back from vacation!
some people enroll their kids in a million things to keep them busy and "out of trouble".
But, I've also seen kids stressed out because of all of the different clubs and activities they're involved in.
Some people live through their kids.
BTW, what is up with those surnames as first names thing?
Madison, Taylor, Hudson, Ellis and so on...it's pretentious as anything and kind of bothers me.
I never really understood how you could have your kid wrapped up in so many activities. I would rather have my son do one thing he really wants to do than one thing he really wants to do, two things he kind of likes, and one thing he dreads.
I mean, I watched tons of TV as a child. I'd like to think I was normal. Or something.
I'm with Joe. I think it's important for kids to be involved in some athletic thing but not 10. I did a bunch of things as a kid (dance, swimming, piano, afterschool math programs) and I hated it and my parents stretched their budget too much trying to get us into all these activities. In the end, I stuck with swimming and did piano lessons. I turned out ok and since i got to spend my time swimming (ha, I said, *got* as if I enjoyed it! Most of the time I was dragged kicking and screaming), I actually got to be a good swimmer rather than one who has too many activities. I plan to make my kids do a sport because I don't want my kids to turn into tubs. If they want to do more than one or two activities, that's fine (budget permitting), they just have to get there themselves. I don't want to spend my time playing taxi.
I agree with you. "Well-rounded" is what I call "over=scheduled." And, LORD KNOWS, we have our entire adult lives to be that! And then some. On the other hand, I've heard that an over-scheduled kid will not be so likely to turn to bad activities like taking or exploring drugs. "My anal, stressed-out, competitive mom is my anti-drug!" This is where I think it actually stems from, though, trying to show up other people and their kids; that, and not having time to actually spend with your children. Kids don't need to be constantly busy to avoid the 'drug lifestyle' or whatever silliness they are afraid of - they need good role models. Period. I had one thing when I was young, too, softball. I haven't played it in years and years, but last summer I couched a girls' softball team, on which I had no children of my own. So, obviously, I learned something good -- how to give back. Consequently, I also have time to give back, myself, I imagine because I wasn't taught to completely fill up my schedule with unimportant things. I had all the time in the world to ride my bike with friends, explore everything, and just be a kid with so much to learn about life. I learned to be independent that way, too, which is something these parents really need to consider....
Well said!
amen, sister! Remind me of that when this baby is big, ok? I am currently standing against the NYC NURSERY SCHOOL ADMITTANCE FRENZY. For God's sake - makes me want to move to Montana.
glad you're back!
Trouble
Ahhh, this all still kind of assumes for the most part that a single kid is in multiple activities. Me personally, we limit each kid to single activities which still keeps us hopping every day of the week and every other weekend. The joy of having multiple children I guess.
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